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whathashappened [14 Jan 2011|09:04pm]
oh my!i havent updated in a very long time!what has happened here! all my colors are gone! NOO!!
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you know what really grinds my gears? [02 Aug 2009|02:19am]
When I buy you presents and then in an act of rage I displace them.. only to find them the next day in the trash can. It makes feel like you're throwing me away. AND THAT people, is what grinds my gears.
This has been Krystina.
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lend your perspective [11 May 2009|12:11am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

So . . I would like everyone's feedback on this please.. and if you don't have a journal, please at least leave your name

I have a friend that compulsively lies about everything. Let's call this person ALEX since that's a good unisex name. Alex will tell you that the sky is down and the ground is up just to impress you. At first, when I realized that it was just a scheme to for acceptance, I figured Alex would grow out of this. As time has gone on, I just kind of shrugged it off and figured Alex was used to lying that Alex couldn't help it anymore. When we were alone, Alex was for the most part, completely honest still with me. Then I realized that Alex is still trying to impress people, many years later. When Alex and I are out and Alex starts lying in front of strangers, Alex will look to me for support. When I deny Alex's story, Alex will say that I'm a bad friend and I don't cherish our memories. Or that I'm always drunk so I don't remember anything. Or that I just don't pay attention and should learn to be attentive. Alex also constantly belittles me in front of people, and doesn't let me talk to any of Alex's opposite sex friends. I assume this is out of fear that the truth about their situation will be revealed. On the rare occassion that I try to talk to Alex in private and say "hey I noticed you were exaggerating alot, you don't need to do that" Alex grows extremely aggrivated with me and refuses to talk to me. Alex tells me I'm a bad person and I'm selfish for trying to grab all the attention and being :the cooler person: or something to that effect.
How can I manage to get my old friend back.. I know hoping Alex to stop lying completely is impossible, but how can I get Alex to at least stop lying to me all the time. It's just so irritating. Everything that Alex says is a lie. From dating situations, to health conditions, to what Alex had for lunch.. it's all a lie. What can I do?

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happy 22nd bday, me [11 May 2009|12:04am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Happy birthday me. You've come a long way from those days of mom yelling "youre 14 now but wait and see if it make it to 15"

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no subject at all [21 Mar 2009|02:44pm]
Can someone please explain to me why human beings feel the need to mark territory? Be possessive? I undertstand that insecurity is a part of normal human nature but it's really getting to be a lot. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have a girlfriend. I should not have any of these problems. I'm trying to drink less, I'm trying to be on a normal sleeping schedule. AND I AM TRYING TO HANG OUT WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS. I don't even have a lot of friends. I have like, 6 people that I hang out with. I live with one of them, and he's the one who's giving me the most grief about spending time with other friends. Why does human nature seem to entail immaturity and jealousy? GROW UP PEOPLEEEEEE.

I really hate venting in here. But I had no where else to do it.
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Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) [31 Dec 2008|08:04pm]
My recent observations of life have been very intriguing yet repulsive at the same time. I don't understand why people need to pretend to be someone else on a CONSTANT BASIS. You don't need to identify with a specific group, clique or whatever, just be yourself. The problem with having an identity within these groups sets specific rules and images for everyone. Since everyone underneath it all is unique and different, these people are forced to hide behind a certain personality that differs from their own true self. Even if it's just a small insignificant thing, in the long run it is detremental when the truth comes out. An example of this that truly pisses me off is people who hide behind the Lord. Now, whatever my opinion of God and religion is, I have still studied and taken into consideration a lot of different aspects of it. Now, if you are a person who loves God and follow his word (the bible), that is a perfectly acceptable way of life. It doesn't hurt anyone, and to be perfectly honest, the bible encourages the human race to help others. It's a really nice title to have, but if you mess up, don't try to hide the truth. What these people do is they disobey the word of the Lord and then when questioned about it will minipulate the situation. They won't lie, they just won't be honest and truthful. Taking the questions and twisting them around so that they don't ever actually answer it.. using the words maybe, possibly, could've etc. Just admit that you did it. i.e., q: did you get drunk last night? :a: i didn't get sloppy and incoherant. :q: but were you drunk? :a: i wasn't sober

REALLY people? Just say, yes, i was slightly drunk, i made a mistake.

For those of you who don't know, in the Bible God says it's okay to have a drink, but not okay to get drunk... its in ephisians 5:19ish.. somewhere over there i think. I'll check that out later.

Basically, what has happened is that these people are politicians endorsing themselves.

This type of thing doesn't just happen with "good christians" though, it happens with most people and most situations. And when people are reading this, I'm sure they're thinking "I'm unique and I don't fit into this. I never hide who I am" Chances are, you do. Sorry. I recently hid something from one of my good friends. I didn't lie about it, but I didn't come right out and say it. It's not a good way to be and I tried out for the sole purpose of seeing what it's like. Guilt eats away. Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone or whatever but still.

This is my journal and I'm allowed to vent.


I urge everyone to make their new years resolution to be to true to everyone AND to themselves. Because this world is disgusting.
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[12 Jun 2008|03:22am]
[ mood | content ]

i dont care what consequence it brings
i have been a fool for lesser things

wayyyyy lesser things


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iNSaNe CLoWN PoSSe [23 Feb 2008|11:21am]
First thing, I could never love you. You sound like a witchy bitch yo FUCK you!
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[29 Dec 2007|11:13pm]
[ mood | sore ]

This song is for you. You spoiled brat wannabe starving poor pity man.

You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
It's a bitch girl but it's gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
Say money but it won't get you too far
Get you too far

And don't you know, don't you know
That it's wrong to take what is given you?
So far gone, on your own
You can get along if you try to be strong
But you'll never be strong

You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
It's a bitch girl and it's gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
Say money but it won't get you too far
Get you too far

High and dry, out of the rain
It's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain
And don't you know that a love can't grow?
'Cause there's too much to give, 'cause you'd rather live
For the thrill of it all, oh

You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
It's a bitch girl and it's gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
Say money but it won't get you too far
Say money but it won't get you too far
Say money but it won't get you too far
Get you too far

You say
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
It's a bitch girl and it's gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
You're a rich girl yeah

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[17 Dec 2007|10:32pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

the problem is all inside your head she said to me
the answer is easy if you take it logically
id like to help you in your struggle to be free
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover
she said its really not my habit to intrude
furthermore i hope my meaning wont be lost or miscontrued
but ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover
50 ways to leave your lover

she said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
i wish there was something i could do to make you smile again
i said i appreciate that
and would you please explain about the 50 ways
she said why dont we both just sleep on it tonight
and i believe in the morning youll begin to see the light
and then she kissed me and i realized she probably was right
there must be 50 ways to leave your lover

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[16 Dec 2007|03:00am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Random Boredom v 3.4

So I worked a little bit tonight, but blah. I left around 145 or 2. I was going to stay for the 213 train but decided against it. It snowed a little, then it rained, then it turned into hail. It's really pretty as it falls on everything. It looks like a thin beautiful layer of snow... but it's not, its a thick way too slippery layer of ice that everytime I try to drive on in a fucking taxi I swerve around like I'm on a slip -n- slide. But it's so fucking beautiful.
I hope it snows on Christmas.
Speaking of Christmas, I need to go shopping. Every year I'm super prepared and this year I've gotten 2 people done. BAH.
Oh well.

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this entry is interesting not [09 Dec 2007|07:38am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so im happy today so i decided to write. i dont really have anyone to share happiness with, really only one person and she's far away in nevernevernewpaltzland. but today was good. this weekend was a good one all in all.
yesterday before work i got to talk to damian on the phone for almost an hour and that makes me happy :) then i went to work and work was good
then today i got to sleep a little later and went to work and this kid nick came to chill and rode around with me. it was fun. i get mad bored and lonely at work, its a lonely job. you never get to continually talk to anyone.
work was also busy last night and tonight. for me at least. i made some money so im not stressin working tomorrow, although i probably will go in late.
now im just sleepy but in a good mood, i havent fallen asleep in a good mood ina while.


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It has been 84 years.... [19 May 2007|03:14am]
[ mood | depressed ]

But I can still smell the fresh.. oh wait. This isn't Titanic! =) It has been almost a year since I've updated my journal. I don't like what I saw the last time I wrote. Some stupid meaningless exboyfriend's words affecting me like that. I don't give a shit what he says. He doesn't know shit from a hole in the ground. He's a spoiled little brat and I hope he has a good easy life ahead of him. MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

This life is not turning out to be as great as I thought it would. Nothing seems to fit anymore. I have no more car. No more family. No more home. No more Dan. No more friends? No more heart. My life has a come to a complete hault and I'm trying to view it as a yeild sign but it's turning more into an All-Way Stop.

Shannon is coming home soon which makes me happy. Shannon is so wise, she's like a miniature Buddah, covered in hair.

I don't know. I can't update this thing. I don't want my feelings to be seen. Too much shit to be said. But if anyone wants to know what's up y'all have my number. I could definately use a friend though

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[22 Jul 2006|01:19am]
WoW!!!!!!!! I didn't know I was a cokewhore!!!!!! Gee, thanks for letting me know. Cause I haven't done coke in a long time!!! I wonder how those two go together.
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[05 Jul 2006|07:06pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Happy 4th of July and stuff.

So yeah, I don't care anymore. About anything.
Eye for an eye.

That's for everyone.

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[20 May 2006|01:58am]
would you forgive me love
if i cried in your shower
would you forgive me love
for the salt in your bed
would you forgive me love
if i cry all afternoon...

name that tune hahaha
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[16 May 2006|02:02pm]
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
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[26 Mar 2006|12:21pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Forgive me journal, for I have sinned... it has been 3 months since my last confession.
Hahaha. I thought that was witty and fun.
So my mom took my car off the road which sucks but whatever.
Danny said he'll take me to his grandmas tomorrow and teach me to drive stick shift in his Gio and then we'll insure it and I can drive it =) He's so good to me, he takes care of me. I'm not used to that.. I like it.

Last night Dan and I went to Applebees for some awesome half off appetizers.. and it was awesome.
I haven't hung out with Dan mano y mano in awhile. It was nice. We had some good food, and great conversation. He let borrow some reading. I find my thoughts getting more and more like the stuff I've heard come out of his mouth.. I'm just trailing a few months behind him. He truely is one of my best friends. There's no one like him. It made me very happy.

I just bought a Van Morrison CD and I've been listening to Moondance non-stop.

I got a job at Home Depot.. I have to go for my peepee test tomorra.

Other than that.. not much has been goin on.

Oh yeah, I don't go to Albany anymore haha I guess that's pretty major, eh?
I take 2 night classes at suffolk. Bah. It's okay though, Brittany is in my classes. If she wansn't I think I might have killed one of my professors by now.

Well I have to go get my brother a birthday present now... maybe I'll update within the next 3 months again.

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teeheehee [30 Dec 2005|02:48am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

So I saw this in someones journal.. but unlike him I'm going to follow the directions because when I want to make things obvious to people I actually tell them. i.e., John, you're a hypocritical asshole sometimes :) I'll grow up when I'm ready. And I'm sure you'll do the same.

1_List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will
2_Don't say who they are.
3_Never discuss it again.

[1] You are by far the most annoying person to talk to ever. You are fat scary and ugly and I don't give a shit about your love life or lackthereof. Stop being so fucking creepy. I don't want to hang out with you ever again. That was the worst hour of my life.

[2] You are the most arrogant person I have ever met. Quit that I'm better than everyone shit and maybe you'll have some friends and get laid.

[3] No one cares because they all hate you anyway.

[4] I show that picture you sent to my phone to EVERYONE.

[5] I think your girlfriend is cute too.

[6] I fucked your boyfriend, I fucked your boyfriend. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And everyone I've ever met knows. Except you. CUNT.

[7] I like you. A LOT.

[8[ Yeah, that was my idea. And I love it.

[9] You are the best kind of person in the world, an honest person. And I admire you and value your opinions more than anyone else in the entire world. Although I don't always follow your advice, I take it to heart and feel guilty when I don't because I know you're always right.

[10] You're not ugly on the outside, in fact, youre gorgeous. But, you're ugly on the inside. That's why you have no friends. Including me.

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[27 Dec 2005|03:25am]
I don't think you even realize it, but when you do shit like that, I remember why I love you.

And you're right, I don't give a shit.
About anything
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